warped

Sometimes I think my sense of reality is really off. I am feeling very emotional and sensitive today (yeah it IS that time of the month). I wonder if I totally shut some things out because I totally just cannot process it? Or why sometimes things do get through and I dwell on them to the extent I can't think of other things? When I get introspective like this I always think I fall short of my expectations of myself.
Today I heard of a friend who has been in the hospital, this makes me appropriately sad and I want to go and visit. I think and plan and all but my follow through SUCKS and I want to do better. We all know that the road to you know where is paved with good intentions and I think I have walked that road ALL of my adult life. On the news this morning I saw a story about a Dad camping with his sons when a bear went after their cooler the 6 year old picked up a shovel and tried to scare him off. It ended with the Dad throwing a piece of firewood and killing the bear. My mind went around all the typical feelings I THINK I should have had. I was angry that no one had talked to this boy about wild animals and how they are not like cartoons and how you have to respect them. I thought why would anyone try to protect a cooler? I couldn't let myself think about what might have happened or if I had been in his place (I would have missed the bear I am sure of it). So to the last piece of upsetting news. One of the blogs I read regularly the Mom had to give back a dog she got at the pound because it was getting overly possessive of her and she worried for her children's safety. She called to check on the dog and they had euthanized her. She just said she was so sorry and somehow ALL the pain from this overwhelmed me and I started bawling like a baby. We chose not to get rid of a dog everyone thought we should but I didn't have to deal with the safety of children in my home. But the sadness of this just overwhelms me. Recently she has written of her husband leaving her and what I guess should be bigger things. But THIS was so upsetting to me I still haven't calmed down. I wish I was brave enough and strong enough to help out with animal charities beyond supporting them financially the little bit I can. I just think I would be a puddle of sadness being around the helplessness and hopelessness.
Well I think the moral of this story is I shouldn't post on an overly emotional day.